{"id":19,"date":"2016-02-16T19:50:56","date_gmt":"2016-02-16T19:50:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/?p=19"},"modified":"2016-04-27T11:54:56","modified_gmt":"2016-04-27T15:54:56","slug":"marked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/marked\/","title":{"rendered":"Marked"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written in the early 2000s I’ve published \u00a0this not only because it’s still very true, relevant \u00a0and tells you quite a bit about who I am (and how to pronounce my name),\u00a0but also because\u00a0I want\u00a0readers to consider what’s sacrificed when we urge people to believe in a idea of safety or self confidence that, in my opinion, is shallow at best and harmful at worst.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Recently\u00a0there has been a lot of attention toward celebrities and the unusual names they\u2019ve chosen for their children like; \u2018Apple\u2019 or \u2018Rumor\u2019, or spelling variations like \u2018Phinnaeus\u2019 for an already uncommon \u2018Phineas\u2019. People have responded with scrutiny and confusion; \u201cWhat was she thinking?\u201d or with accusation; \u201cI can\u2019t believe anyone would do that to their kid!\u201d They are convinced that the selfish parent has marked the child in an irreparable way that will reverberate through adolescence right into adulthood.<\/p>\n

In my trendy Manhattan neighborhood, I recently overheard a man say to a woman walking beside him \u201cIt\u2019s irresponsible to give a girl a name like Apple. Children are cruel and her whole life she\u2019d have to deal with – you know – like \u201cHey, Apple! Wanna apple? Why do it? How will the kid live with that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Perhaps I should have stopped and answered his questions. My name is Ooana. It is pronounced, \u201cwanna\u201d – you know – like \u201cOoana, wanna apple?\u201d<\/p>\n

Why did my parents do this? My Hungarian born mother immigrated to the United States via Romania and married my father, an American. Five years later, I came along. She\u2019s explained (with a tone of delight that would rival a four-year old-girl talking about how she chose the name for her most favorite doll) how she first read the name in a poem, that it\u2019s an ancient Dacian Princess\u2019s name and that she always knew she wanted a daughter named Ooana. She\u2019ll also insist that the original (rarely used even in Romania today) spelling with two O\u2019s rather than with one (Oana) \u201cis prettier and more elegant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly Phinnaeus doesn\u2019t seem so bad, eh?<\/p>\n

How did I live with it? My father\u2019s mother did not-too-gently advise that the name \u201cOoana\u201d would be a poor choice. She suggested her mother\u2019s name \u2013 Katherine. Throughout my childhood I\u2019ve memories of my grandmother\u2019s regretful gaze and sighs of, \u201cYou really would have made a lovely Katie.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was Juliet who asked \u201cwhat\u2019s in a name,\u201d and decided that ultimately it didn\u2019t matter. My name did and it does: I\u2019d been teased and made to feel self-conscious. It was difficult, hurtful and cruel. My name has always posed challenges. But my name also has been the real inspiration to honestly examine myself, become an arbiter of my own destiny and in the spirit of Emerson, strive to be truly self-reliant.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a point when some are confronted with their eccentricities and recognize them, not merely as challenges to overcome or to be bridled by, but as traits and qualities that make up a unique and broad potential. For me, that recognition began when I stopped worrying that I had a funny-sounding name that marked me as a target for people\u2019s unkindness. Instead I decided to see it as a mark of distinction. It is my responsibility and good fortune to live up to it. And that simply has made all the difference.<\/p>\n

It may be simple, but it wasn\u2019t easy. I did have to overcome any sense of insecurity or loneliness that came with childhood teasing. I did have to compare myself and decide what it meant – to me – that unlike my classmates I didn\u2019t require or receive a clever knick-name. From the first day of roll call I stood out and there was no way to avoid it. So I had to relish it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been one of five or three or even two people with the same name. I\u2019ve never needed tricks or numbers, middle or last names, or adjectives like \u201cLittle Katie and Tall Katie\u201d to distinguish me. I\u2019ve always stood out, often alone and sometimes feeling naked in a room full of eyes. Yes, it is daunting. But also, it gave me the inklings of insight that; having ultimate say in the kind of person or image I reflect and am therefore defined by is immensely powerful.<\/p>\n

Using patience and creativity when challenged by someone or something that can\u2019t be controlled is another element of self-awareness. Unlike Katherine, my name isn\u2019t easy for people at first read. It isn\u2019t always easy when first heard. My name can\u2019t be changed or shortened like \u201cKatie, Kath, or Kat.\u201d It doesn\u2019t carry with it any helpful references or tricks that allow people to catch on quickly to what my name \u201cmust be.\u201d Therefore, people have used a variety of names they\u2019ve assumed to be mine because their experience has defined \u201cwhat does and does not make a word an appropriate name.\u201d Some think of Charlie Chaplin\u2019s wife, Oona and others recall the similar sounding, Juana. They insist that it must actually be one of these. I\u2019ve seen people argue about it, forgetting I\u2019m even there. Other times, I\u2019ve had someone think they are the brunt of my joke saying with more than a hint of sarcasm \u201cYeah right, like, ya wanna?\u201d<\/p>\n

I actually have used that joke – to help someone remember or understand my name. \u201cIts Ooana, like I wanna know your name.\u201d So, I enjoy seeing the variety of reactions my name gets. It isn\u2019t tedious or inconvenient. Meeting new people or approaching a stranger I do with confidence because I always have a conversation starter. And sometimes, someone will simply say; \u201cI\u2019ve never heard that name before, that\u2019s wonderful.\u201d How could I be fearful of introducing myself? There\u2019s always that chance that my first conversation with someone begins with a compliment; even if I\u2019m having a really terrible hair day.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had to embrace something about myself that others find challenging and learn how to help others overcome the challenge. I do it every day. This lead me to reflect on how else I effect and impact the world and if I both react and act on what I discover. Intellectually, academically, personally, creatively and socially this act of reflection is invaluable.<\/p>\n

Yes, being named Ooana is sometimes uncomfortable. That discomfort is what spurred the desire for skills that gave me and later strengthened my ability or opportunity to be flexible during, ultimately overcome, or grow more at ease in the midst of any feelings of discomfort. It required a more keen awareness of my instincts. So next I began to understand that I could successfully live a life that challenged my abilities. I can pursue what really gets me motivated. And I\u2019m free to adjust if those ambitions that resonate deepest within me change their tones.<\/p>\n

Would these lessons have come were I named Katherine? There\u2019s no way to know. What I do know is that no one looks at me anymore with concern regarding living with the name my parents gave me. My father acknowledges that naming a daughter Ooana gave him some reservations and has said \u201cI knew you\u2019d have to live up to your name.\u201d
\nHe was right. Everyone should be so lucky.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written in the early 2000s I’ve published \u00a0this not only because it’s still very true, relevant \u00a0and tells you quite a bit about who I am (and how to pronounce my name),\u00a0but also because\u00a0I want\u00a0readers to consider what’s sacrificed when we urge people to believe in a idea of safety or self confidence that, in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,5,3],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s7piXs-marked","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ooanabe.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}